Friday, October 27, 2006

Picking My Brain 06-10-27

You are picking Wayne's brain.

Finders keepers.

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"You ain't drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on." - Jerry Lewis

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I guess there are times when Joe Scarborough and I agree. They just finished airing a report about casinos in Las Vegas and how much money they take in from each dollar played for certain games. For some the casino kept as much as 20 cents out of every dollar, but for slots the figure was a low 6 cents. And yet those slot machines (those thousands of slot machines that you see in them) bring in more revenue than all the other casino operations combined. They are what drives the whole casino operation more than the celebrities or the card and gaming tables. The report finished and I said, "Wow". Joe Scarborough raised his eyebrows and said, "Wow". (I better start checking the Book of Revelations to see if this is in there.)

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Tippy's going mentally irregular again. Something tells me he's going to be trouble tonight. I've got to find that "off" switch on him.

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I wish TV producers would be a little more alert to what their network is doing when running a live show. Scarborough is doing his show from Las Vegas (I won't speculate on his motives). They've been using various Las Vegas-themed songs (including Elvis Presley's "Viva, Las Vegas!") as "bumpers" (as I think the term is called, the music going to and returning from commercials). So they're doing their news recap and it ends with, "Five more soldiers were killed in Iraq today bringing the monthly total to 96, making it the deadliest month of the year." And then right away they come back with "Viva, Las vegas! Viva, Las Vegas!" I thought it a little on the insensitive side. Could you try to coordinate these things a little better, guys?

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Apparently Kevin Federline thinks that he's figured out how you know you've gotten through the toughest part of a relationship. He says that he's no longer embarrassed to buy feminine hygiene products for his wife. Once you've gotten through that, "you're through." Through what, Kevin? The first month?

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Here's a question failed Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld can ask himself the next time he takes over a press conference. (He emphatically took responsibility for the failures in Iraq.) If asked why he should still remain in his position, he would undoubtedly answer that he serves at the pleasure of the President and that if the President wanted him out, he would be out. (He claims to have offered his resignation twice and it was refused. He did not say if it was offered in writing.)

So, Mr. Secretary, your question for yourself is, "Would you trust the judgment of any President who would accept such failures from his Secretary of Defense?" And no, you cannot rephrase this question to yourself.

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"You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps me fire you." - Stephen Colbert, opening to last night's repeat of The Colbert Report

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I'm going to stop this here while I go work on a couple of things that are turning out too long for this segment of our show. Tune in again next time when we hear our 72-year-old Aunt Louise turn to her canary and say, "Can you help me with my Medicare Prescription Drug Coverage forms?"

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